Still Pregnant

But I’m actually feeling afraid that it won’t happen. Each time I go to the toilet I check the paper to see if my period has started and I try not to think that it wouldn’t be a period. I suppose I am bewildered by it all and I just don’t understand why I suddenly got lucky. My mum says it’s because I’ve had some really crap things happen to me and it’s about time I had such good news. But I’ve felt like an incredibly lucky person for a while now. I have so many things to be thankful for. This is too good to be true. I’m waiting for the bad news to come, to hear that the baby isn’t growing because I don’t have adrenal glands or it can’t go to term because a tumour is pushing on my womb and I have a ton of new adrenalin that’s about to explode in my body. Why can’t I be happy about this, why can’t I relax? Arrgh