ready for a fight?

Ready for a fight?

The waiting is what nearly kills you,  never mind the cancer. And this time the cancer in my genes is sitting waiting to piss me off.
It is so different this time, having a daughter makes this process so very very different. Before I realise that all I worried about was me, what would happen to me, how would I feel. I don't think I really thought about my family. I was of course conscious of them but the focus was me. Now, each time I hear a new piece of information I think of her, I worry more about the impact on her. And each time I feel so blessed that it stopped with me, she, oh thank all you can thank, she isn't cursed by VHL.
And just to add to it that ominous knowledge that the pins and needles I am feeling more and more often might just be the next battle. The fight continues.

It's so hard to explain to others that this is an on going fight. Even other cancer victims don't really understand.

For a while I was convinced I was going to die, and soon and during the operation. The bleeding out, the cut that finishes me off. And I now need to trust, I need to believe and I need to get ready for a fight. My last day on this planet will not be 11th December. My last day is a long way from here.

My last day is not soon.