survivor?

It has been 3 weeks since my surgery and I feel rather disappointed that I don't feel better. I expect a lot of myself.

None of this has been nice, all of it something to get through but I have no choice. One thing is for sure I am living my life in a way I want to as lying there, for almost a month and I don't regret very much and the things I do regret weren't really things I actually had any control over.
I want to get back to that life, I don't want this one,

I should process this all but right now I am indulging myself in TV and friends visiting. I'm weak physically but proven to be strong mentally.