Forced sadness

It is that time of year. The memory of the years without him. Grief is often the empty gaps.
Self made grief is a hideous self harm.
And now I need to stop that.
I'm quitting work.
I'm leaving.
I'm stopping the self harm.
I feel so much better knowing I'm going. To the point where I'm sleeping better and I'm enjoying my free time.
I'm smiling and I'm not falling apart.
I haven't cried as much this week.