You grow slowly

Tonight I'm out at St Andrew's night. An annual event here.
I saw people I haven't seen in a while.
'how are you?'
Very normal question.
Who ever really wants to hear the real answer?
This time I resisted the urge to say, oh I'm good. But I have cancer again.
And as the raffle unravels I am doing my best to be the woman I was this time last year.
But each time I know I've changed and my body has changed, not just older but more tumour. More surgery. More risk.
One day I'll run out of kidney.
But not yet.

I didn't win that raffle.