when you are isolated

It's clear that the world is never going to be the same. So many of us have now experienced, and continue to feel the acute anxiety that comes with such a huge amount of uncertainly.

As my family and friends are preparing for the inevitable lock down I am still struck by my previous experiences and how this fits in. I live with the fear and threat of VHL, right now one of my worries is the cancer in my kidneys and how it may or may not be growing and how I'll know. That thought sends a small tremor of worry through my gut. Frankly I don't know how I don't have IBS.

So often in my life I have held my worries silently in my head so as not to upset, freak out or annoy others. I have sat quietly and planned how I was going to survive the next moment. Most clearly were those three horrendous weeks lying in a hospital bed, most of it with my eyes closed and waiting for someone to say they might be able to tell me what was wrong and then waiting to see if someone was willing to fix me.

It's mostly just me and my thoughts and I don't bother many people with them, why would I, who would want to spread that. And then COVID 19 began to steal the security so many people feel, it has taken away the safety net of a comfortable life and exposed the fragility of life and I don't like seeing that worry and stress in others, in the people I love. And I want to stop them all. Protect them.
Keep busy, make sensible plans, distract yourself, look at the silver linings, be as positive as you can an cry when you need to, keep your chin up and remember:

everything passes, the good and the bad