Toni - was tonight

I wanted to write this all at the time, but found myself unable to. I come here when I need to get thoughts and feelings out and that night, not so long ago I tried to. 

I started but couldn't find a way.

I didn't want it to be too public. I'm used to finding my voice for VHL now, the other stuff, less so. 

This was as far as I got

'I find myself here

You wouldn't have decided to do that in front of my husband'

No matter how far I've come, there is still a road ahead on this...one day maybe I won't blame myself. Maybe one day there won't be a need for me to have to.