familiar chairs, unfamiliar faces

I'm sitting in the yellow chairs of the imagining department. It's been like this for a while, the changes and improvements continue. This place holds a lot of memories for me. 

I've been coming here for so long, for me and for my dad. They always ask after him on the ward, so I'm glad I'm not going there today. But who is left to ask, maybe a couple of the nursing team. If Prof Drake was in, maybe him. He won't be. It's not a clinic day. It's a scan. 

My full scan.

How lucky I am. It's the back bone of our country. I'm sad and angry knowing what the government are doing to it. 

Will it always be here?

I'm feeling nervous, unsettled and unsure. I feel cheeky to be getting the scan and also relieved. 

But I normally build up to this. I was caught off guard. And I don't know when I get the results... What will they say, what will the next year hold? Are my kidneys going to be ok this time, has anything new and dangerous begun, are the old and previously faithful ones behaving? 

Who knows.

Not me of course. 

Not yet.