happy anniversary

 8 years since that day that I didn't know would be a long month 

you never know what's round the corner

How long is soon?

 What does soon mean then? 

In Malawi if you say now, it's an unknown amount of time, if you say now now, it's now. 

In the NHS when you say soon, it could be anything from a week to a month to more. An endless amount of obviously not now but when, running around my head. 

I'd quite like a before or after Christmas answer. 

My first brain tumour I was given the choice of before or after Christmas and I chose after so I had the operation in January 2000. As I sat on the sofa with my sister on the 31st of December 1999 we didn't feel like that was really the right choice. Party over, oops out of time. That's how it felt. It felt frightening. It felt unknown and it felt far away. 

It always will when my first real experience of VHL was my brother's routine operation not going to plan. 

This robot better be good. 

I've got cancer

 Which one should I go for next? 

so far in my various communications I have given the news in a range of ways

A cyst that is now more complex

A little bit of cancer

The tumour has grown

Good news - all basically the same - but I need a procedure

Luckily a robot will do it

Not as bad as last time

Will be able to get back to work faster

Cancer - they are getting rid of just the cyst, not the whole kidney

You can live off 10% of one kidney as long as that bit is working

Nope - I don't need yours, yet. 

I'm thinking of - I've had kidney cancer for a few years now, the good kind but now it's looking like it might turn bad and they want to get it out, Please still give me a job. 

and while this is my reality, while I'm taking this in I saw the scan and the size of the one in my spine. Ooof he's grown. It's a he. I might name him. He looked like a lozenge. Lonnie. You can stop showing off now Lonnie. You just stay right as you are. I wasn't ignoring you before it's just that your sister was doing such a good job of growing but quite as much as she could have. She's complicated your sister. She's moving out soon and I'll be all yours.