Wednesday, May 31, 2017

A Dr, nurse and a PHD student walk into a room

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And it being just the three of them, it was bound to be a good day. The VHL clinic went well. A couple of new tiddlers in my pancreas but n...
Thursday, May 18, 2017

Time to worry

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I can't help it. I'm trying so hard not to but worry I am. The unsteady feeling is creeping in, the doubts and fears. I'm wor...
Friday, May 12, 2017

Places and the past

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I'm in Angel Travelling home in an uber. This place holds lots of happy memories and many bus journeys. It seems to have a draw.
Thursday, May 11, 2017

Time ticking, machine banging

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Annual MRI. This year it means so much, so many years it does but this time our dream relies on this being 'normal' for me. No gro...
Tuesday, May 02, 2017

Uncomplicated boredom

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I was bored at work today. Not sad, or lacking confidence. Just common or garden bored. It's quite nice
Saturday, April 22, 2017

Climbing a rope ladder

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Recently I went with my daughter and a friend to Go Ape. I hadn't considered I'd be afraid but as we moved onto the first off ground...
Thursday, April 20, 2017

Karen Country Club

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A number of firsts for me over the last 24 hours. - flying on my own - riding in a golf cart - watching men play golf while sipping lemon...
Saturday, April 15, 2017

I'm angry with Verity

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I loved her. I met her at 6th form college and she noticed me, made me feel like I belonged. We spent hours together and we laughed, cried...

Have an adventure

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Making the changes. For many years, when offering advice to the youth I have the privilege to work with, I say... Be the change you want t...
Saturday, March 25, 2017

Medical

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We're making a big decision but I'm so nervous that medically I'm going to be stalled. How do people do the thing where they kno...
Saturday, March 18, 2017

Forced sadness

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It is that time of year. The memory of the years without him. Grief is often the empty gaps. Self made grief is a hideous self harm. And ...
Saturday, March 11, 2017

But the drugs don't work...

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I went to the GP and was prescribed happy pills. They have not made me happy. I was sick most of the night, didn't sleep and felt more a...
Tuesday, March 07, 2017

Day curves are long days

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The day consisted of, morning fast, lying down, bloods, lying, more bloods, tablets and lying down, bloods, food, bloods, bloods, bloods and...
Saturday, March 04, 2017

I want to be fixed

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In so many ways. I feel very broken right now. My little girl keeps me sane but so much else is pulling me apart. A podcast I listen to h...
Friday, March 03, 2017

Book a day curve

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I've booked one, partly to avoid a day at school. I need one. Ummm
Friday, February 24, 2017

Then the panicked set in

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I took the day off. The next day, after not much sleep I went in. That was yesterday. I didn't feel great but... That morning I began t...
Wednesday, February 22, 2017

A rare day indeed

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I'm taking the day off work... I don't really do that sort of thing. I'm poorly. The last time I gave in and took a day off I ...
Sunday, February 19, 2017

Climbing a mountain in skis

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We're away, it's better than I thought it was going to be. It's given me some much needed brain space. A chance to switch off f...
Wednesday, February 08, 2017

I can't do it all

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I just can't
Saturday, February 04, 2017

One week to go

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And then some escape