Sunday, August 21, 2022

The wrong time to decide

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 this is a place where I have been so very happy, a place that feels like it saved me. I had a really good chat with one of my favourite peo...
Friday, August 19, 2022

More cancer - not mine

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 I see her as a reflection of my story in some ways. We met at an NCT group, our children just weeks in age apart. they still laugh and play...
Thursday, August 18, 2022

Thank you VHL alliance

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 I waited until I was back from my holiday, despite the temptation, to ask for the scan report. It came back within the hour. That was impre...
Sunday, August 07, 2022

scan connoisseur

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I know a few MRI machines well, one I consider I've had an on going long term relationship with, although I have been seeing his brother...
Thursday, July 21, 2022

long life milk

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Living somewhere else is about accepting long life milk
Tuesday, July 19, 2022

where will I be scanned next

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 Who knows, looking unlikely that it will be here. But I do need to have my 6month one.  I know I do, but only to ease my mind, I'm sure...
Monday, July 11, 2022

In a different world

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 An old friend's wife died yesterday, she was young and had been told 10 years ago she was probably going to die of cancer. She was rema...
Friday, July 01, 2022

once I couldn't keep my eyes open

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I remember it well. You don't forget that There are moments in life when you want people to do you justice... Today I hope I did that. F...
Saturday, June 25, 2022

oh your dad died too

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There is a club I belong to. Newish to me. The dead dad club. I understand it's not the same as the dead mum, brother, sister, friend, c...
Sunday, May 29, 2022

blossom

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In my garden a tree that I don't normally notice is blossoming. It's subtle and beautiful.  It's making me think of VHL. I'm...
Wednesday, May 11, 2022

silence me

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I've been told I talk too much Often I've been silenced more. I've been told I over share Often I've hidden so much more I...
Sunday, May 08, 2022

who knows where the time goes

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If I'd been able to, that would have been the song at your funeral. Because, because it's the first one we really learnt together, w...
Thursday, April 21, 2022

I didn't know I would miss you this much

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I'm looking out over a cloud covered sky, listening to waves crash into the side of the room I'm in, the beauty and power a welcome ...
Tuesday, April 12, 2022

pain in the arse

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It is getting better. Healing. A slow process when you are going through it and every so fast on reflection.  This time, a break is a time t...
Sunday, April 03, 2022

my bum hurts

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VHL sucks, I'm glad I get scanned, but I know I'm happy to put them off, until the doubt gets in. This week however I have a non VHL...
Saturday, March 12, 2022

spring and winter

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It's that time of year. In the UK the sun is making more of an effort and here is raining, lots. Here the nights draw in, as much as the...
Friday, February 18, 2022

happy birthday

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Each time, each time, each time for so many times.  I wonder and I know there's no point But I wonder
Thursday, February 10, 2022

seeing your mum again

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I was telling my friend Tabitha about my mum and how wonderful it was to see her happy because she was doing what she does best .. helping t...
Tuesday, February 01, 2022

the good news

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The journey, not the destination. I'm certainly always on one. The twists and turns. Right now I'm back in a lovely bit of road, it...
Sunday, January 16, 2022

it's probably nothing

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Sat on a toilet. Common I think. Here I am taking it all in to make sure I can face my baby girl. "Prof wants to see you face to face...