Sunday, January 05, 2020

where anxiety lies

Back to work tomorrow and I am anxious. I always want the INSET to feel worthwhile, and I always start to slowly remember what I have to do in the term and how the list grows with each 'Happy New Year.'

I confessed to my husband last night that I was also worried about having grown more cancer or a new tumour, I'm finding it hard to shift that thought.
What is my back up plan?

Luckily for me I think it's a displacement and I'm not as worried as maybe I seem to be. He replied with a sensible question and we concluded I don't have any new symptoms so I should recognise it's probably more a worry about work, which I have more control over and whether I'm growing more bad things.

I'm lucky too that I have so many people who would help me and us if this life changes.

And so far I'm lucky that I have the NHS.



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