she isn't here

Like a lot of the world right now, I'm missing my mum, She should have been here, we should have been sharing my life and loving her face as she saw what I've been seeing for the last three years.

She's not, of course and I fear, now never will. But you never know.

And the chances are she wouldn't have felt she could come now as with my dad's possible diabetes and now the news he's been booked in for an emergency MRI, she would have been so very torn.

I am wondering what his next few months, years will be like for him. How will he manage this new set of symptoms and will they even operate? Can you risk a man with his disability to go in for an operation, and that's before any level of risk with COVID 19. What anaesthetist would take that chance?

Something will one day kill him, we're none of us immortal and he has lasted far longer than anyone ever thought possible, tougher than a bull elephant my dad.