Saturday, April 22, 2017

Climbing a rope ladder

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Recently I went with my daughter and a friend to Go Ape. I hadn't considered I'd be afraid but as we moved onto the first off ground...
Thursday, April 20, 2017

Karen Country Club

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A number of firsts for me over the last 24 hours. - flying on my own - riding in a golf cart - watching men play golf while sipping lemon...
Saturday, April 15, 2017

I'm angry with Verity

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I loved her. I met her at 6th form college and she noticed me, made me feel like I belonged. We spent hours together and we laughed, cried...

Have an adventure

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Making the changes. For many years, when offering advice to the youth I have the privilege to work with, I say... Be the change you want t...
Saturday, March 25, 2017

Medical

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We're making a big decision but I'm so nervous that medically I'm going to be stalled. How do people do the thing where they kno...
Saturday, March 18, 2017

Forced sadness

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It is that time of year. The memory of the years without him. Grief is often the empty gaps. Self made grief is a hideous self harm. And ...
Saturday, March 11, 2017

But the drugs don't work...

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I went to the GP and was prescribed happy pills. They have not made me happy. I was sick most of the night, didn't sleep and felt more a...
Tuesday, March 07, 2017

Day curves are long days

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The day consisted of, morning fast, lying down, bloods, lying, more bloods, tablets and lying down, bloods, food, bloods, bloods, bloods and...
Saturday, March 04, 2017

I want to be fixed

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In so many ways. I feel very broken right now. My little girl keeps me sane but so much else is pulling me apart. A podcast I listen to h...
Friday, March 03, 2017

Book a day curve

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I've booked one, partly to avoid a day at school. I need one. Ummm
Friday, February 24, 2017

Then the panicked set in

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I took the day off. The next day, after not much sleep I went in. That was yesterday. I didn't feel great but... That morning I began t...
Wednesday, February 22, 2017

A rare day indeed

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I'm taking the day off work... I don't really do that sort of thing. I'm poorly. The last time I gave in and took a day off I ...
Sunday, February 19, 2017

Climbing a mountain in skis

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We're away, it's better than I thought it was going to be. It's given me some much needed brain space. A chance to switch off f...
Wednesday, February 08, 2017

I can't do it all

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I just can't
Saturday, February 04, 2017

One week to go

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And then some escape
Sunday, January 29, 2017

Fear of mental poor health

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I advocate for good mental health at work. My school has won awards but I remain afraid to speak freely of my struggles at school. Partly b...
Thursday, January 26, 2017

Booked

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I did it, I've booked it. Terrified. I need to actually go this time Don't I.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Why am I afraid of therapy?

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I'm lucky enough to have a coach. I need it. She is a fantastic woman and sees, enables me to see. Even the uncomfortable truths and hel...
Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Sleepless and Ofsted

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The alarm will go off soon. I've been awake for at least an hour. Things are sad here in my head. I'll go to work today and hope I ...
Sunday, January 08, 2017

What is coping?

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I saw an old friend this weekend. We hardly ever see each other, barely contact one another but we slipped into the chat. The comfort of som...