Life is a long game, if you're (un) lucky

One whole year.
It reminded me that I'm in charge of this. This life. This journey.
I'm in a state of neutrality right now.
I've decided to be brave, to call a bluff and commit to this, this life.
I've chosen it and with all the inevitable frustrations and pleasant irritations this is my life
I've taken a stand in this anniversary.
Today my daughter asked me if I missed my brother and I knew I did. But more, I missed knowing who he could be now.
And with that I realised I'm me.

I'll forget that in due course, but right now...
I'm no body's fool.
I'm a warrior.
I fight and I win.
I've lived in fear and conquered it and I haven't ever let anyone truly get in my way.
I've let myself love with all my heart, even when there was a shield refusing to accept it. And I've stood my ground in the face of horror and pain.
I will not be sad for the sake of it. I will be sad for you. I will pity the fear that you allow to control you and I will lead by example.

I rise because I've learnt to.

I survive because I've learnt to.

I thrive because I know when to conserve and gather strength from those who love me.

Good bye.