feeling things

Today I've mostly felt a little small and sad. A strange mix of emotions over the week and I'm not sure where to put the feelings. 

Someone I love said some stuff that hurt and I don't know what to do with that. They've said sorry. They didn't like that they said it. I don't think they know why they did, but I'm still finding it a bit painful to know it was in there. 

Nothing major and they couldn't sleep for the worry of how it made my feel. 

I don't know how to ask why though because when they said they were sorry I took that. 

It's rare to feel hurt. 

And with all the things and all the other big feelings this just layered into my own sense of being small. 

Like I've shrunk. 

Daren had left the chat

I was scrolling through my phone today. Looking to distract myself and then I saw it. 

The chat I set up to update people on my kidneys. 

And he's gone - I guess someone has cancelled his phone. He's really gone.