Doing the right thing

We are so excited that we haven’t followed convention and we have told everyone. It is so early but you know what I’m having a baby and if that goes wrong I will have lost a baby so who cares who knows. I was sitting on the tube yesterday and I wanted to tell everyone sitting on there with me. It still doesn’t feel real, I keep expecting it to be over but I’m so happy. The more I think about it the happier I am. So how strange for a really good friend to ask ‘Are you sure you are doing the right thing?’ She also asked if I was going to have the baby tested for VHL, and she remembered that that could happen at 5 weeks. No. Simple as that. No. She said it with love in her heart, she is the type of person who would hate to feel she could have made a difference and didn’t take the risk but it was a strange sensation to even consider the idea. Even if this baby does have VHL I’m not going to want to find out till after it is born and my partner feels the same. Who ever this child becomes it will be ours and we will love it, I may not always like it but I already love him/her.

No we are not getting married!

To Plan or not to Plan

How quickly things change. I’m pregnant!

Something I always hoped and prayed would happen. All those times I quietly swallowed tears when people assumed that I would be a mum one day, they never even thinking that I couldn’t plan it, we couldn’t plan it. 

And we didn’t. One night of recklessness and there you go. 

To quote my partner ‘He shoots, he scores’ So there we have it. A baby.

Oh my.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say about this but I’m still a bit stunned not to mention many more emotions like, nerves, fear and utter joy.

It is very early days and so we have to be realistic but that fact that we have told our families and loads of our friends already tells you how thrilled I am and no I'm not thinking about the genetic profile. 

Annual review

It’s not for a while (had appointment letter through) but I’ve been feeling uneasy, partly because my work has been very difficult and I’m anxious about a number of things. When one thing makes you feel low other things do too. The truth is I’m concerned about my eye. I had a weird thing when I had tunnel vision. I can do everything I need to with one eye, that doesn’t bother me so much it’s the idea of the surgery, if it had to happen. Eyes being injected – ooohhurrg, it makes me shiver just thinking about it. At least my big toe has gone back to feeling as it should. Never did make it to the GP. (naughty)