it's probably nothing

Sat on a toilet.

Common I think.

Here I am taking it all in to make sure I can face my baby girl.

"Prof wants to see you face to face" 

It'll be my eye

It'll be something

Maybe nothing

Can it wait?

Am I over reacting?

Can VHL wait a bit longer?

I know I've had a good break... Eyes are so good when they work. 

Maybe I need to go home

Maybe it's time to face reality again

And I'm in the toilet for two reasons.

1 + the email shocked me and I took a sharp intake of breath and that starts me coughing and that starts me sneezing and that takes a while to stop. So I need to blow my nose and have a wee

2 - I'm protecting her. 

Should I be?

It's probably nothing

Home and a cushion

We made it home in one piece, the unpacking began, I always do it before I sit down. We have one bag missing but happily it is one that only has stuff and things. Nothing meaningful.

Never before have I travelled with such important cargo. Not counting my living family.

Now, in my room are memories of my dad and a little bit of him. They surround me physically in a way he does in my memories. Now I see him each morning. He's visiting and staying with us a while. 

It's important. 

I didn't realise just how important.

There is a faint smell of him from the aftershave my nephew sprayed on the T-shirt that my big sister had made into a cushion. 

I've said goodbye to him at my childhood home and welcomed him into my new and for now home. 

I'll show him my garden.

I'll see if he has any advice on my tomatoes.

all of the reasons home is harder

We've now done all the 'homes' 

They are all harder than would be ideal

They all have people

They all make more sense when you're away

They are all are filled with past and memories

They are all harder