looking after myself

 I know I say it each time - I say

next time I'll take off all the time I need and do a proper phased return. And then I just find ways that that won't fit, or work, and I try and do too much too quickly. I think that because actually every time it's worked out fine in the end. No accidents, no relapses and no long term damage I must tell myself it will be ok. 

This time I'm making a compromise with myself. This time I'll do some of what I probably shouldn't and some of what I should.  My new work are being fantastic. And I've asked for and been sent the first week plan and it looks super chilled, with me not needing to teach much at all. 

It is 7 weeks tomorrow. The pain in my neck remains and is mostly a very slight pain that I am conscious of most when I think about it or do something like lift a heavy pot, fill the kettle, garden, empty the bottom draw of the dishwasher. If I hold my head up for hours then I feel the relief when I rest it. The fizz happens less, but is still there. My hands don't feel the same and neither feels like they should. 

I haven't driven yet but I am ready to try. Stupidly though I'm nervous to interrupt my husband to see if he will take us to a big carpark so I can have a go. I'm mainly worried that although I know I haven't lost any movement or strength in my legs that somehow when I press the pedals it won't feel right. I'd lost a bit of parking confidence last year and I really don't want to lose anymore. 

So here we go again, another post surgery return to work. Another part of the recovery cycle. 

Then 2 hospital appointments in September - and I suspect and MRI no one has booked in yet!