Sunday, December 10, 2006

Still Pregnant

But I’m actually feeling afraid that it won’t happen. Each time I go to the toilet I check the paper to see if my period has started and I try not to think that it wouldn’t be a period. I suppose I am bewildered by it all and I just don’t understand why I suddenly got lucky. My mum says it’s because I’ve had some really crap things happen to me and it’s about time I had such good news. But I’ve felt like an incredibly lucky person for a while now. I have so many things to be thankful for. This is too good to be true. I’m waiting for the bad news to come, to hear that the baby isn’t growing because I don’t have adrenal glands or it can’t go to term because a tumour is pushing on my womb and I have a ton of new adrenalin that’s about to explode in my body. Why can’t I be happy about this, why can’t I relax? Arrgh

5 comments:

Beverly said...

Hi Sweetie!
I understand why you're nervous, but I have to tell you that even healthy first time moms, such as myself, are very nervous that first trimester.
I'll tell you a secret...I used to go to the dr frequently the first trimester with my last child...for little things like sore throats...just because I needed to hear the heart beat!
Let us know about drs visits and such. And let us know how far along you are!
Beverly

lee said...

Even at the best of times people do get anxious over it all.Wishing you all the best :).

diary of a genetic defect said...

thanks, feeling a bit more secure and i'm only 8 weeks along! Got an appointment withbmy consultant tomorrow.

Heather said...

Hi! I stumbled upon your website today and I wanted to tell you congratulations on your pregnancy. I can somewhat sympathize with how you are feeling. My mother had VHL, and I never knew if she had passed it to me or not. I vowed that I would get genetic testing before I decided to have children, but then, just like your situation SUPRISE! I was pregnant. I then got the genetic testing and found out that thankfully I do not carry the gene for VHL. I hope that your pregnancy goes well and I will be visiting your site to keep updated on your journey. Best Wishes!

Beverly said...

Hi!

Where are you!! Hopefully enjoying a bit of a vacation from school!!

I'm needing to know how you are doing!

Beverly