Vulnerable

He looked so vulnerable. He was at my gate, stick in had with a list to the right; his hat on his head and mum dashing around in the background sorting the dogs and the car out. He smiled and wobbled on in. Later that day I gave them both a lift to the tube as dad had his first check up since the op. The surgeon is very pleased with him. As we pulled up in a line of traffic I said they would be better off getting out there (nowhere to park) so mum got out. Dad tried, he tried to do the window, get his bag and stick out and open the door. All foiled by the seatbelt left around him still connected to the car. ‘Don’t worry about the window dad just get out’ I felt bad. He almost fell out of the car and a kind man steadied him as he tumbled towards the pavement. Mum looked flustered and cross; a common face these days. He seemed so disabled and I couldn’t stand it.
Since then I’ve seen many people who use sticks and wheelchairs and it seems to me that the problem with my dad is that he refuses to accept he has limitations so he’s not able to deal with them. He still insists on speaking at 90miles an hour and so it’s very hard to understand him and he doesn’t use his stick properly. E.g. as he gained his balance to walk towards the tube I saw him lift it up to point at something!
And then there is the usual fear; will that be me. Will it be her?
But then they came back from then check up and there was all the positive things. The gamma knife will work on another tumour that is looking dodgy and the ones on his spine are doable too. But the best news is they are waiting for a new, faby daby doesy thing that is coming to Britain soon that is better than a gamma knife that will get em. Not the most technical way of describing it but I wasn’t there and so I didn’t get to make my notes. But it sounds good doesn’t it?
I’m on maternity leave now. Two weeks on Wednesday for the c-section.
I will do pictures. Take care everyone