how brave will I be?

A friend sends me links to articles she thinks I will find interesting. I always do, this week she sent me one about a remarkable woman who had a spinal injury and what a amazing attitude she has and how well she is loving and living her life. 

I wondered if this was to remind me of how my dad lived his. I don't know if he loved it, he inspired so many people, apparently. Tributes coming in, what remarkable bravery, how wonderful he was... all that. I agree, of course. I thought at first it was her way of saying, "if you end up like your dad, you'll be good."

The tributes are really lovely, I enjoy reading them. 

I think everyone who has been in touch has told me how hard it must be being so far away. Yes, it is and yet it isn't. Honestly I'm getting on. That's what dad did, that's what I do. Everyone who has been through this kind of grief knows that it comes and goes, up and down, side and rounds about. Hits you when you don't expect it. I think that would be no different there than here. I'm also struck by how many people haven't mentioned that I might go the way he has gone, how many might be thinking it a little more acutely than they have for a while. I think about it often. I also worry about the bits of me that worked perfectly well for him that aren't for me. To be specific  - my kidneys. I bet only a very few worry about that. I don't remind them.