Genetic lesson in ethics

 There are moments in your life that hit harder than others and then, like any other kind of grief, it tends to fade or at least hits less often. 

This week I again talked to a A-level biology class about my life with VHL. The starter for this lesson is essentially a similar genetic profile to me and the students are looking at the ethics of genetics. I've talked about it before, but the teacher and I have this routine down now. We are a great team. I'm also surprised that 4 years on and several versions of this lesson and they are still always so surprised when I reveal I have VHL. I'm the person they advised that couple not to try for. the disease sounds so awful. And that the girl they know, my daughter was a surprise and 'happiest day of my life wasn't when she was born but when we found out she didn't have VHL' 

Classes obviously don't really talk about it out of the room. But I know from those students who I talked to later on it had a significant impact. One boy telling his mum (who then told me) he's going to go into genetic to find a cure. 

And thanks to a scan they also get to look inside my body. They have hard copies of my abdominal MRI. 

I am a teaching tool. 

Why moments hit hard is that of late I've been thinking about that nasty brain tumour, it hit hard. It was the worst and I stood in front of them realising I am past the main fear. I'm coping well and I am more optimistic. Yes today when I had a sharp pain in my head I suddenly let myself quietly freak out. I was doing a poo. My dad was diagnosed with one of his brain tumours because he reported pain when did did a poo. And just for a moment I drifted back to the room and the weeks of fear and utter hideous dizziness.